Miserable Moment @ Melbourne

Wow…! It’s been awhile since I last updated my blog. Yup….I’m quite busy for the month of November. I wonder where should I start for my very first article in December.

Well, after my completion of Certificate III in Racing in July, I’ve been searching for jobs in the racing industry and I need to get a job as soon as possible because there are some assignments which need me to work in the racing industry. It’s part of the criteria in Certificate IV in Racing and this Cert IV start from August until end of November.

During the month of August, September and October, I was in a state of depression, feeling anxious, worried, upset, lost of confidence, disappointed, lost of direction and many more in which I can’t describe in words. I guess these three months are probably the most dreadful experience in my life. Imagine that the racing industry being the third largest employer in Australia and yet I can’t find a job. I’ve make more than 300 calls to more than 150 trainers, sent out emails and nobody wants to employ me.

I’ve started to think, am I doing the right thing? I’ve come all the way to Australia, left my family, wife and son in Malaysia, the money and time that I’ve spent to pursue my dream, and this is what I got in return. My teacher at NMIT couldn’t do much to help me either. I’m beginning to go ‘crazy’ at one stage. Being alone in a foreign country without help is horrible.

My student visa will expire next March and there is still some time available but probably won’t be able to complete my Certificate IV in Racing because the course end at November. And I may end up only having the Certificate III in Racing but I talk to myself, even though it’s just a Certificate III, I still want to try to the very end, keep on searching for jobs. Hopefully to gain some experience during the remaining months. It’s sounds like I’m going to die……hahaha. I told myself, “no matter how hard it is, I still need to hold on til the very end”, however, it's easier said than done, my taught are wondering and I can’t keep my mind concentrate and focus. I taught of giving-up.

At this moment, one of my good friends encourages me to persevere. He said to me “we do our best and leave the rest to god” and he asked me do I believe in ‘karma’? Suddenly this word struck me like a lightning and I recalled the teaching of the Pure Land Buddhism. It is also known as “Buddha Recitation”. So I went to their website and downloaded the mp3 chanting of Amitabha Buddha. By listening or chanting the buddha’s name, it can actually calm our mind and help us to concentrate and at the same time purifies our karma. With my mind being able to concentrate, focusing and calm, I was able to overcome my stress and keep moving ahead with a positive taught.

I’m really grateful to my good friend for the words that he said to me. He is a friend which I get to know when I was in the sales line back in Malaysia. His name is Alton Wong and he is a businessman-cum-army officer. He is a 2nd lieutenant in rank in the Malaysia army and also a counselor for new recruit in the Malaysia army. Thank you very much Alton.